Signs of a Gaming Problem in Young People
Before you scroll away or continue reading with great enthusiasm 😉 You should know that I’m not writing this from the sidelines, clutching my degree and acting like research means I know everything. I have lived this. Gaming and being online had an unhealthy grip on most of my life. Other people could see the harm before I could, and even after I finally recognised it, changing my relationship with gaming took time.
At my worst, I stopped going to classes, showering properly and eating well. I would sleep for 16 hours and game for the rest. I planned my life around games, but the strange thing was, I wasn’t even having fun anymore. I was not thriving in some epic online life. I was numb, and my online world simply felt easier and more important than the real one.
Gaming is different for me now. It is a reward: a way to switch off, laugh with friends, complete goals and escape into a fantasy world for a while. I still love gaming. The difference is that gaming now fits into my life instead of my entire life fitting around gaming.
As a Youth Peer Support Worker for Touchgrass, I want to help other young people recognise the signs sooner than I did and find their way towards a healthier relationship with gaming, without automatically giving up something they love.
That difference matters. Gaming can be something you love without becoming somewhere you lose yourself.
Gaming a lot and having a gaming problem are not the same
Losing a weekend to a new release, a competitive season or a holiday gaming marathon does not automatically mean someone has an addiction. Sometimes the game is new, your friends are online and the snacks are stocked. Gaming becomes more concerning when loss of control and real-life harm turn into a pattern. The World Health Organisation describes gaming disorder through impaired control, gaming taking priority over other activities, and continued gaming despite negative consequences. For a clinical diagnosis, the pattern must cause significant impairment and would normally be evident for at least 12 months.
That does not mean you need to wait 12 months before asking for help. Support can be useful as soon as gaming starts taking more than it is giving.
The Touchgrass Three Cs Check
Instead of obsessing over one magic number of gaming hours, try using my Three Cs check: Control, Cost and Consequences, something I've come up with after reflecting on my own gaming. It's not a diagnostic test or anything crazy, it's a quick way to spot when gaming may be causing harm, because ‘just play less’ isn't something we want to tell people to do (otherwise, what would be the point of this whole article!). The check reflects warning signs identified by the World Health Organisation, that I've gone ahead and made into something a bit more palatable.
Control
Are you choosing when to play and stop, or is the game deciding for you? We all know the "Bro, we can't end on a loss!" and suddenly it is 2 am and you have 5 hours before you need to go work/uni/school. Daily quests, ranked progression, limited-time events and friends waiting online can all make stopping harder. The important question is whether you can still follow your own decision.
Cost
What is gaming taking from you? When we say 'cost' we don't just mean the money you used to buy that sick skin for your character or gun. The cost might also be sleep, decent food, movement, hanging with mates, or the energy to do anything offline. A game can cost nothing to download and still become expensive everywhere else in your life.
Consequences
What keeps happening because of the way you are gaming? Missing one class or being a bit late for work because you slept in is human (everyone's done it right?). Regularly missing classes, falling asleep at work, avoiding showers, fighting with whānau or losing friendships because gaming always comes first is something you should reflect on.
What the signs can look like in real life
The signs can be subtle, you might not even think about any of it until one day you're thinking 'whats up with me recently?'. Knowing the signs is really important as it allows you to think on and reflect about your state of being.
Your whole routine starts orbiting the game
You may start scheduling meals, sleep, assignments and social plans around raids, ranked games, resets or when the homies are online. To be clear, having plans to game is not the issue. The issue is when it becomes the only thing you plan your life around.
Basic care becomes an inconvenience
Doing the basics to keep yourself clean and healthy become near insurmountable tasks that you don't want to do. Showers start feeling like an unnecessary side quest. Cooking feels like wasted gaming time. Sleep becomes something you do after your body finally rage-quits. You grab the fastest food possible, not because you deliberately chose an easy meal, but because even ten minutes away from the screen feels annoying and you can feel the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
You are playing but not really enjoying it
You know the feeling, you have your game library open (mine is Steam) and the many games you have in front of you just don't give you the 'spark' to start playing them. You keep logging in from habit, numbness or the feeling that there is nothing better to do. Winning barely feels good, and losing makes you want to throw something at the screen. At that point, you are not really playing for fun, you are clocking into a job. Gaming has shifted from something you enjoy to somewhere you disappear.
Gaming becomes your only escape
Escaping into a game for a while can be healthy. The concern is when the online world starts to feel more important because real life feels unbearable, empty or too demanding. A 2026 systematic review and meta-analysis of 119 studies involving 119,730 people found that gaming escapism was associated with gaming-related problems and psychological distress. Boring, I know, but that doesn't mean using games to switch off automatically causes harm. But if gaming is becoming the only place you feel able to cope, the answer is not simply removing the game. It also means understanding what you are escaping from and getting support with that.
Why stopping can feel harder than expected
Games are extremely good at giving your brain those sweet dopamine hits. They offer achievement, structure, connection and relief quickly. Many also use daily challenges, ranked progression, streaks, limited-time rewards, social commitments and very few natural stopping points to encourage another round. If you're struggling to hop off the games, might be a warning sign.
This is why confiscating a device or saying ‘go outside’ often creates resistance without solving what is underneath. If that advice worked, most of us would already be outside living our best lives. The real goal is to rebuild choice, balance and reasons to return to life offline.
Ways to regain control without deleting every game
Ok, so you know the signs, but we can't just leave you with that and expect you to know what to do next. So, here's the ways you take back control and learn to game in a healthy way.
1. Run the Three Cs Check honestly. Ask what you can control, what gaming is costing you and which consequences are already showing up. Write the answers down if your brain suddenly becomes an elite defence lawyer whenever you suggest logging off.
2. Protect one anchor first. Choose one non-negotiable such as attending class, showering, eating a proper meal or being in bed by a certain time. Don't try to speed-run it, you'll just trip up and feel bad (believe me, been there, done that). Just focus on one thing at a time, building upon those non-negotiables over time.
3. Choose your stopping point before you start. Decide on a time, number of matches or in-game checkpoint while your brain is still calm. Avoid making the decision after a loss, during a ranked streak or when the homies are begging for one more round.
4. Make the offline option worth leaving for. You do not have to swap gaming for staring at a wall or watching paint dry - unless you're into that. Test your mate's teamwork in an escape room, create a scavenger hunt, cook something competitive, play basketball or plan a ridiculous challenge together. Keep the friends; change the map.
5. Put a speed bump in front of spending. Remove saved payment details, display prices in real money where possible and set a limit before opening the store. Future-you does not need to discover that present you bought $80 of pixels at 1 am. If you are chasing a skin or random reward after already overspending, log off before deciding again.
6. Look underneath the gaming. Ask 'what is gaming doing for me?'. Is it connection, achievement, distraction, safety, structure or relief? You will have a better chance of changing the pattern if the replacement meets the same need.
7. Tell someone before it becomes a crisis. You do not need to identify as addicted or quit completely before talking to someone. A youth mentor, counsellor, trusted friend or whānau member can help you make a plan that fits your actual life.
Advice for whānau and professionals
If you're a professional or a family member - let's say a parent - lead any conversation about gaming with curiosity, not confiscation or judgment. Opening with ‘Hand it over’ is a very efficient way to end the conversation before it starts and get your young person on the defensive. Ask what the young person likes about the game, who they play with and what gaming gives them before listing everything you think it is taking away. Then talk about the impact you can both see: sleep, school, hygiene, mood, money, relationships or responsibilities. A boundary made together is more likely to work than a punishment that removes their main social world without replacing it.
Useful questions include: 'What makes it hardest to log off?', 'What would you want to be different?' and 'Which part of your routine should we protect first?' If gaming is covering anxiety, depression, loneliness, ADHD-related difficulties or problems at home, support may need to address those as well as the gaming pattern.
When to ask for help
Consider getting support when gaming repeatedly affects sleep, education, work, hygiene, eating, relationships, emotional wellbeing or money; when attempts to cut back do not last; or when gaming feels like the only place you can cope. You do not need a diagnosis, and the problem does not need to look severe from the outside.
Touchgrass supports rangatahi aged 13 to 24 and their whānau with screen use, gaming and gambling harm. Youth mentors and specialist counsellors are available, and the first contact is free. Book a private call back or explore our resources.